Drunk in charge of a philosophy dept. A philosophy unit.

 

What would they think, who were members of the original department – the one that got closed down in the ‘80s? The late, revered department, which all its former students remember it with love .. There are memoirs about it … There are those who still remember the righteous struggle they fought against closure.

 

For twenty-five years, this was a uni without philosophy, and even a city without philosophy. Because there was no philosophy taught at the other uni, the lowly uni.

 

And they opened philosophy again! They advertised for us, for three philosophers, or at least three philosophy academics, to open a new department.

 

How were we plucked from lowly unis for this? How did we find ourselves in a Russell Group uni, well above what was expected?

 

They wanted a European philosophy department – why? They wanted continental philosophy – why? And they brought us here – us. Why?

 

To think, they could have brought some real academic philosophers here.

Career philosophers (a contradiction in terms!) Professional philosophers (no such thing!) Analytic philosophers (God knows!)

They could have brought academic philosophers ready to contribute to public thought. To apply themselves to logical conundrums. To applied ethical puzzles. To even address the grand societal problems, in their own way.

And instead: us.

 

What’s our mission here? What are we here for? What are we going to do?

Unfold our peculiarities! Our eccentricities! To bear a weird kind of fruit – twisted fruit. Gnarled fruit.

 

Shouldn’t someone put a stop to this? Hasn’t something gone very deeply wrong. Intellectually. Perhaps cosmically.

 

To think – we’re in charge of young people! To think – we’ve been left to give a sense of philosophy! The young, the impressionable.

 

We look out of windows. We walk the corridors. This shouldn’t be allowed.

 

To think, we even have PhD students! They look up to us! Haven’t they seen through us yet?

 

This shouldn’t be allowed! We shouldn’t be allowed! We should be told off very firmly. Taken aside. Spoken to. Carpetted, even. Asked to account for ourselves. Shown the error of our ways.

We’re still young. We could be set right. Change our ways. Repent, in our own way. Back-track. Reorientate ourselves.