This is not our world: remember that.
All we have: our despair, which is to say, our freedom not to be caught up in this world. Which means despair isn’t just passive. It isn’t just something we just endure. Which means despair is a incitement. An awakening. A condition of further action …
Despair is an invitation. A calling. Even the highest calling. It says: turn your eyes to this. Turn your attention to this. Awaken yourself to this. You are not part of the demonic realm.
This demonic world. This unacceptable world. This refusable world. Because that’s what we learn: this world is refusable. It doesn’t have to be our world. We don’t have to succumb. We can climb into the light.
Our apocalypse. This world has to collapse – and it will collapse.
That’s what hope is, for us: destruction. The end of all things. For the end of the world.
This isn’t our world. This isn’t our filth.
Horror at the world. At ourselves. At having to live. At having to go on.
Sin, deepening. Sin, always. And lies. And corruption. And ugliness.
The hideousness of it all. The twistedness.
Will we ever be untwisted? Will we ever be made beautiful? Will we ever become uncorrupted?
This world is too disgusting to last. It’s too deeply fucked to last.
Which is why we’ll have to accept the coming horror. The tyranny.
Which is why we’ll even have to work for the destruction. For the great down-going.
The air is poisoned. The very air. Our food. Everything we eat. The sky is poisoned. The clouds aren’t real clouds. The soil is poisoned. The water. The rain that falls. All poison. They’d poison the sun, if they could.
We’re driving ourselves mad: do you ever think that: that we’ve driven ourselves mad? That we’ve gone too mad. That we’ve spent too much time in mad company. Too much time reading mad books. Studying wild philosophy.
Is this what madness is like? Is this what it feels like – tastes like? Are we unwell – that’s what they call it nowadays, don’t they: being unwell. Are we suffering from mental health problems – because that’s how madness is known today, as a mental health problem?
Because madness shows what lies beyond this world. Madness is part of a greater sanity. A coming sanity. It’s the face of that sanity. Just like stupidity – our stupidity – is the present face of brilliance.
What if we’re the madness? What if we’re the ones who should be eliminated? What if our destruction is the solution?
Mad people like us. Mad philosophers like us. Mad theologians like us. Mad thinkers. We’ve taken things too far. We’ve taken thought too far. Until it’s merged with madness.
It can’t go on like this, and yet it goes on. It can’t get any worse, and yet it gets worse. It’s even accelerating.
They’re intensifying the pressure. The enemy’s desperate. They’re forcing their agenda. They’ll stop at nothing. They’re the real apocalypticists, not us. They’re the ones who want to drive the world to ruin, not us.
A mad philosophy, for mad times. A mad theology. In service of God gone mad. Who will help us? Are we just driving ourselves madder? More mad? Infinitely mad?
Everything burning up into nothing … An offering … The offering of everything there is. To what? We call it God. But it’s just … The sky? The night? The fucking Open?
As if our whole lives were sacrifices. In some religion. Our religion …
We should slit our throats now. We should hang ourselves now. It would makes sense. It makes more sense than anything.
At the height of our lives. At the height of our fucking beauty. (Laughter)
I want the wave to break. I want the flood. I want to go under.
And I want to think there’s an ark somewhere. That will save all the good things – not me. Not the likes of us. But there’s an ark that carries all the beautiful things, all the good things. That saves the goodness. I like that thought.
There’s nothing more beautiful than death. I’m starting an absolute cult of death –now! Tonight!
Work in Progress 