Purple Offices

Inspecting our new offices.

They’re very … purple.

Did anyone ask for them to be painted purple?

Not me.

You’re the new Head – surely they consulted you on the plans.

I didn’t say anything about purple. I wanted magnolia. Like, a cooling colour.

Did Cicero say anything about purple, before she left? Does Cicero have an attachment to purple?

Shrugs.

Someone’s attached to purple, anyway. And all the shades of purple!

Maybe it’s some psychological warfare thing. Some demoralising thing. Maybe purple’s a uniquely depressing colour.

Googling psychological effects of purple.

… A blend of a high energy colour, red, and a calming colour, blue. So it can be energising or relaxing, depending.

What about depressing? Does it say anything about depressing?

It says here that toned down hues like lavender are soft and feminine, but darker hues can lead to impatience, frustration and irritability.

Exactly! They’re trying to provoke us!

Purple’s supposed to be a polarising colour. Either you like it or you don’t.

I don’t.

And if you do like it, you’re supposed to be artistic, thoughtful and intuitive. You like thinking about the meaning of life.

What if you don’t like it?

It means you’re unartistic, unthoughtful and unintuitive.

Fuck.

Shades of purple: amethyst, lavender, lilac, mulberry, orchid, plum, puce, pomegranate. Wine, of colour. And there’s royal purple … Associated with royalty, extravagance and aristocracy … The Queen wore the Purple Robe of Estate after her coronation …

Would you call this royal purple?

It’s just, like, too much purple. Totally saturated purple. Like, deep purple.

And there’s the Prince connection. He associated purple with the end times, apparently. The pouring of red blood from the heaven, mixed with the sky’s natural blue …

I think purple’s the colour of the endless end times.

This would be the perfect place to await the end times. The sixth floor, views of the sky …

They say they’re going to beam holograms into the sky to make us think there’s an alien invasion. They’re already filling the sky with reflective materials for their lasers to bounce off.

Like, why?

To spread fear and confusion. And to distract from the fucked up economy.

Cunning.

And some say they’re going to simulate the Second Coming. Like, Christ coming in on the clouds.

Again: why?

To show that they can. It’s a mockery operation. It’s a laughing-at-what-people-believe-in thing. Showing that they can do better with laser beams, or whatever.

Maybe our purple offices are part of the psy-ops. They have a role for us with the fake-Second-Coming thing. They want us to be prophets of their fake Jesus, sent mad by the purple.

Of their Antichrist …