I don’t think I’ve ever spoken to a philosopher before.
I don’t think I’ve never met an Organisational Manager before.
What do you make of us Organisational Managers? Admit it, you’re sceptical.
I saw you at a meeting, I always thought you looked kinda interesting.
Are you flirting with me?
I thought you were flirting with me. There’s a … sexual magnetism.
I’m a married woman.
How married?
You’re chancing your arm.
I’m literally flirting with the right.
And I’m literally flirting with the humanities.
Are you even straight? It’d be a surprise if you were. Humanities types are all queer, I know that. You’re all gender fluid, right? Gender fluidity hasn’t hit Organisational Management yet. We’re behind the times. Perhaps you philosophers will tell us all about it. Perhaps you’ll liberate us from the patriarchy. But you philosophers don’t go in for that kind of thing, do you? It’s more the English department.
So: your origin story: how did you become a philosopher?
We don’t call ourselves philosophers. I teach philosophy, sure. But philosopher is an honorific – something you’re called by other people. No one would actually call themselves a philosopher.
How insufferably pompous! I’m going to call you a philosopher, philosopher. That’s how I’m going to refer to you, philosopher.
What about your origin story? How did you become a – philosopher?
How did you become an organisational manager?
Oh come on, its not half as interesting. I met my husband. Or rather, he was teaching me. He was my lecturer. And I was just an innocent Business studies student.
You studied business studies? You actually signed up for business studies?
I actually wanted to make my way in the world. Not just be another unemployed humanities grad.
If I hadn’t been unemployed, I wouldn’t have got anywhere.
Typical: the rest of society has to pay for you to lie about and contemplate.
I’m dangerous, philosopher. I’m at a loose end. I’m careening. I’m fucking things up. I’m taking revenge for my fucked-up life … Actually, I’m not really fucked-up. I didn’t have a traumatised childhood, or anything like that. I’ve got no fucking excuse – just boredom.
I wasn’t even in rehab. I just said that to make myself sound interesting. I don’t even have a drink problem. I don’t have anything … What do you say to make yourself sound interesting? Oh I know you actually think you’re interesting. Isn’t that something? Interesting enough not to have to sound interesting …
See, you think you’re very interesting: I can tell. You’re terribly presumptuous, philosopher. You think you’re perfectly fascinating.
I don’t think there’s anything interesting about me.
See, there you go: nothing interesting. I have nothing to declare … except my philosophy. Except all the books I’ve read … Except my philosophical attitude …
I’m sure you’ve read books, too.
Not interesting ones. Not difficult ones. Just boring books, really. Long, boring business books. And I haven’t read many of them. I’m not really into Organisational Management theory … that’s the philosophy side of things in Organisational Management – see, we do have a philosophical dimension in Organisational Management …
I’m more about applied Organisational Management. How Organisational Management works on the ground. I’m pragmatic. I haven’t poked my nose into all the old European corners, like you.
You think you’re dark, well I’m darker than you. You think you’re profound. Well …
Go on.
Work in Progress 