Bored

So … philosopher. Is that what you call yourself: a philosopher?

You’d never call yourself a philosopher. It’s an honorific. Something you have to achieve.  

I’ll call you philosopher, philosopher … You have a philosophical air. As I, no doubt, have an Organisational Management air.

I don’t think you have an Organisational Management air.

I’ll take that as a complement. I’m actually very philosophical, for an organisational manager. But I don’t expect you to believe that.

My friends actually think you might be a synth.

A what?

Like, an android – a biogenetic android.

But I’m not a robot, am I? Look at me: do you think I’m full of circuits and wiring, or whatever?

Synths are made out of biological tissue, which means no circuits or wiring – they’re entirely organic. The crucial difference is that they’re lab-grown, like, not born.

Like in Blade Runner?

Exactly – like the replicants in Blade Runner. Who look just like us, except that they have no emotions.

I have emotions.

You think you have emotions. Maybe they’re simulated emotions.

There was that test, right … to see whether the replicants were human or not …

Sure. They’d ask someone under suspicion a bunch of questions that are supposed to provoke an emotional response.

Like what? Give me an example.

Like, you realise there’s a wasp crawling on your arm. You: a) swat, b) squash, c) savour, d) trap. What’s the answer?

Well, I guess it wouldn’t be savour, would it? Give me another one.

Okay. Now and then you contemplate life alone. It is… a) Independent, b) Inconceivable, c) Insulting, d) Intriguing. Which one?

Intriguing: that’s what I’m not supposed to say. Actually, life alone would be very tedious. Don’t you think life on your own would be very tedious? Or would you prefer living on your own?

You see a friend who has suffered bereavement. Afterwards you feel … a) Annoyed at their lack of engagement, b) Powerless to help, c) Saddened or d) Bored. 

D) Bored … ever so bored. Infinitely bored. I’m bored of bereavement and bored of these very-easy-to-see-through questions and bored of everything … Ask me some real questions. About real thing.

Okay, some other questions. Tell me your life story in five minutes.

Born. Grew old. Grew bored. Married … I would say happily, but I’m not so sure …

Tell me yours.

Now that would be tedious.

The real philosophical question is whether we should kill ourselves or not. That’s Camus, right?

Sure. The Myth of Sisyphus.

And what conclusion have you come to? Should we kill ourselves?

There might be other ways to entertain ourselves.