This is my indulgence hour. This is where I can come and be who I like. Be, like, the opposite of an organisational manager.
This is my Organisational Management fantasy of freedom. Which I call, philosophy. Because philosophy is all about questioning. And deeper questioning. And abyssal questioning. And the opening of questioning-abysses. All the way to madness …
Madness: that’s what the afternoon is for me. That’s why I can embrace it. Lose myself in it. I can go mad up in here in the safe space of your studio flat. Up here, in your studiolo.
This is afternoon madness. Everyone who studies knows it. This is the passion of the afternoon. Where the sky’s too open. Where I think I’ll disappear into the sky.
Afternoon silence. It’s so quiet up here. It’s like the silence wants me to speak. Like it’s drawing speech out of me. Like the silence is a question that I have to answer.
And this is how I answer it. With, like, more questions. Until the questioning just devours itself. Falls. A questioning of everything, even of the questioner. This is how I’m lost. How I fall. Deeper and deeper. Until – until there’s nothing of me. Just a great … questioning.
It’s like being torn apart, but very gently. Like there are hooks attached to me from all four corners of the sky. And they’re just pulling me apart. But delicately. Slowly.
How do you stand it, philosopher? Do you even feel it? Do you feel it like I do? This sky-madness. This afternoon-madness. That tears you apart very gently …
I’ve reached some pure Zen philosophical plane. Like something’s breathing through me. Just breathing in and out, through me. I think it’s the silence. Can silence breathe? Well, it’s breathing through me, philosopher.
These are beautiful days, philosopher. I feel that, too. I think these are beautiful times. Even if … even if I forget them one day. Even if they’re very close to being forgotten right now …
These are the good times, philosopher. This is like … contemplation. Like God contemplating the world after creating it and saying, It is good. It’s like the eternal sabbath, eternal Sunday that just says everything is good.
This is a forever day. This is a forever time. It opens out. Is its own thing. Spreading wide. Is that it?
Work in Progress 