God, philosopher. How can you really be interested in these things? You’re not, are you? How can you be so focused? How can you really, really give a fuck? What’s missing in your life?
Are you really good at this, or something? Do you think you’re going to be?
I mean, is this your life? Is this how you want to live it?
I don’t believe you, philosopher. I don’t believe you believe in any of this. I don’t believe that you believe in your philosophy.
Who actually reads you work? No one. Who will actually read it? Who’s it for? What’s it for? Don’t you ask yourself these questions constantly? And if not, why not?
Do you have moments of self-doubt? And what do you do about those moments of self-doubt?
I know what it is: intellectual stimulation. You need to read clever things and try to write clever things. Because you’re clever. And because the world doesn’t give you enough clever. Enough stimulus.
So you sit up here, in your high room, which you’ve turned into cleverland. And I’m allowed up here, because you have other needs, and not just intellectual ones. Which I’m sure you despise.
You read these things to feel clever and to exercise your cleverness. To take your cleverness for a walk.
The clever despise the not-so-clever, I know that, philosopher. Different levels of intelligence shouldn’t mix, should they? I shouldn’t even be up here, I know that. I don’t know my way through arthouse film. I don’t follow the latest developments in … philosophy, or whatever. I don’t have an intellectual life. I don’t study at all, not like you study. I never get lost in books.
And you don’t care that it’s leading nowhere. That no one will read you. Or that no one cares.
And what I don’t get is why you’ve chosen this philosopher to read, rather than that one. Why you’re exploring this position, rather than that one. Isn’t it all arbitrary? Isn’t it all random? The way up is the way down, or whatever.
To have an intellectual position at all. To have a hot take on all the latest matters. To be able to explain the current state of the world. I don’t know any of those things. And I’m not sure how much I care. I don’t have broad horizons, like you philosopher. The organisational management horizon isn’t very broad. We’re not natural speculators, philosopher.
Work in Progress 