See, this whole campus can be locked down. It’s like a fortress. To keep them out.

Who’s them?

The zombies. The mind-control zombies. You’ve heard of them, haven’t you? People’s frontal lobes have been damaged. That’s what I’m hearing. People aren’t thinking as they used to. There’s a general … zombiefication. So the government’s got all these anti-zombie protocols. Zombie invasion mitigation plans. For emergencies.

For what emergencies?

Zombie invasions.

 

Don’t you see: the zombies are those who’ve fully actualised their potential. Who are nothing other than their function. But that’s what academics are. And that’s what students are!

Our mission: to save the university from total zombiefication.