Who isn’t tired of being alive? Are we too tired to be alive? Don’t we want to give up the fight, and all fights? Don’t we want to sink into sleep and sink into the depths?
Isn’t it too complicated being alive? Isn’t it too compromising, going on? Don’t we just deepen the corruption by living any longer? Don’t we just deepen the corruption of our souls by persisting in being? Don’t we just stir up the waters? Don’t we mix our darkness with light?
Wouldn’t it be simpler if we just died? If we could just sink to our knees and have life taken from us? Isn’t that what the world wants? And God wants? Our deaths, our deaths! And what we want! Wouldn’t it harmonize all the desires: our desire, the world’s desire, the desire of God?
Why should we live long lives? Why should we live beyond our thirties? Why should we have to grow any older?
If only the campus would kill us – just kill us. Just take our lives. Wouldn’t that make sense – and the greatest sense? We’ve lived too long – of course we have. We’ve gone on too long. Our studies … have led us into the interminable. Too far! We’ve wandered too far from home. When home is – death.
This is no time to be alive – not for us. We outlived the moment when we should have died. We shouldn’t be alive now. We shouldn’t be awake to see this. The time of the Abomination. Of which this campus is a part. The Abominable. The Terrible.
How come the organisational managers are so at home in the Abominable. They’re part of the Abomination. That’s what they should call this campus: the Abomination.
Where’s God when you want him? There can’t be a God if this is allowed to go on. This campus is proof of the death of God.
Is it? Or is it proof that the God exists. By drawing out the maximum of evil. By pushing dread and horror to the utter limit.
And then? What happens then?
Then God comes.
The apocalypse?
The end.
There is no end. That’s not what I believe.
The Lord is the killer – that’s how he should show himself. The vehicle of the end of times: that’s what he should be. That’s his role now.
The second coming is the coming in fire. In flame. The anti-campus. The kingdom of heaven is the kingdom of death of this world.
We need the touch of God as the touch of death. On our fevered brow. We need a cure – to life. The void has destroyed itself. Creation is its wound, or whatever. All that’s left of God is death.
Is that so? What about goodness and mercy?
Work in Progress 