We’re not even philosophers, that’s what they don’t understand. Not even anything. Not even anyone. Not even … whatever. We’re not part of this, and not part of anything.
There can no more philosophy. No one can believe in philosophy. Just like no one can believe in God.
Is there a negative philosophy, like negative theology? Where it’s apophatic? Where it’s all about what it’s not?
How can you be anti-philosophy? Philosophy’s, like, everything. Not to do philosophy is still to do philosophy – that’s the philosophical trap.
Anti-philosophy. Someone French is bound to have thought of it in, like, 1912. They’re so far ahead.
Look it up.
Fuck, there’s loads of stuff on anti-philosophy. It was all the rage in France in the ‘70s.
Typical.
There’s some guy who gave up philosophy for … sailing. He’s written a whole treatise on it. sailing and antiphilosophy.
Wow.
We’re always too late.
What about non-philosophy, then?
That’s taken – come on. There’s a whole school of non-philosophy. Don’t you know that?
What about hyperphilosophy?
That’s not bad …
Or ultraphilosophy. Surphilosophy … like surrealism. Where Sur means beyond.
People would be expecting things from a movement called Surphilosophy. We need to lower their expectations. This is a fuck up philosophy. A philosophy for the fucked up. Philosophy that isn’t philosophy. That’s not quite philosophy. Not even anything.
Not even philosophy: that’s a name.
Do you think?
Not even philosophy … look that up.
Imagining it. A whole not-even-philosophy movement.
Would it mean we have do things? Like, work at anything? Run a not-even philosophy journal? A society? Hold conferences. Run some not even philosophy series for a publisher?
Fuck that. You shouldn’t have to do stuff if you’re not-even-philosophers. It should be like, slacker philosophy. Where it’s not about arguments, or theses, or positions, or being for or against anything.
What about ontology?
Not even that.
Metaphysics?
Not even that.
Ethics?
Not even that. Not even anything. Not even philosophy.
Just being lazy useless bastards, then.
It’s more like some suspension of philosophy: that’s how I think of it. Where we lay down the usual philosophical tools.
Where we get drunk together, in other words.
No, not even that.
Where we hang out.
Not even that.
Where we don’t organise anything. Just sit on the fucking beach.
Maybe.
Would we become the latest thing? Would word spread through the more alert postgraduates? Through the more vibrant postdocs? For MA students looking for something really transgressive? Would blurred photos of us circulate on the net?
Work in Progress 