Onboarding

I’m going to off on very long term sick-leave. Because I’m very very sick. In the head.  But I don’t want to miss it. I want to watch it all unfold. All the horror. Every component of it. Every part.

It’s mesmerising, the unfolding of our downfall. It’s the best show in town. Our slow fucking strangulation. I take pleasure in it. I like watching them at work.

Even when they’re destroying you?

Especially then. It’s a form of attention. I like that we’re so watched. So monitored.

Come on – they’ve done it a thousand times before. They’re just applying a crush-the-enemy programme. It’s not about us.

But I so like being crushed. I’m suited to this.

You’re a masochist.

Of course I’m a masochist. I like seeing how they work. How they destroy us. The attention to detail. They’re practised at this. It feels bespoke. I feel special. Like they’re paying special attention to me.

 

It’s amazing that our fantasies are being reduced to this.

 

There are always new depths to my masochism. New ways for it to unfold. I like it. It’s beautiful. It’s so complex and rich, my masochism. My masochism’s so much more interesting than I am.

The only interesting thing about us is our psychologies. Or rather our psychopathologies. They’re blooming, interestingly. We’re developing all kinds of interesting fetishes.

We’ve found a way to enjoy our pain. Suffering’s become a thrill. And humiliation. That’s what it’s about. We’re turned on by the System. By very powerful organisers. And managers.

 

The only truly individual thing about you is your malady.

Malady – is that what we’re calling it?

Our disorders. Our mental disease. They’re just adaptations. They’re a way to wring some pleasure out of all this madness. To pretend we have some kind of perverse agency. Even if it’s agency just to get turned on by the madness.

Are you actually turned on by cruelty? By Organisational Management?

It’s how we adapt. We have to find pleasure where we can.

We haven’t got souls. What we call souls is just … our complications. The depths of our humiliation. The way our humiliation registers.

 

What our strategy? What are we going to do?

We can have no strategy. We can’t out-strategise these guys. This is Organisational Management, for fuck’s sake.

Unless our strategy is no strategy. To give up strategy. Forward planning. Any idea that this is all leading somewhere.

We should just wait for it all to just EXPLODE.

That’s a strategy?

It’s collapsing, even as it appears to be succeeding. It knows that its days are numbered. That it’s fucked. The incorporation of philosophy is just one of its last gasps – the system, the total system.

 

It’s, like total triumphal. Running everything. Until it doesn’t. Until it breaks down, or whatever. Until it falls apart. Which could happen at any moment. Organisational Management could just … collapse.

These regimes don’t last forever. It looks as though they’re perfect and seamless, but they’re not. They’re brittle. They can break.

So let’s destroy it. We have to work out where the weaknesses are. Where they’re vulnerable.

 

This is our onboarding. That’s what it’s called.

 

Don’t be awed. Don’t be overwhelmed. Don’t be taken in by all this shit. These buildings. This purple office. Don’t think this is real. It’s not real. It’s a dream. The world’s a dream.

Is it?

 

They’re making us devise the way we can make ourselves fit in. Of course they are. Saves them the trouble. They outsourcing to us finding a way to destroy ourselves. They’re going to make us do it to ourselves.

 

This is how we’re being colonised, right? This is how they work on us. It’s devious. We’re going to be our own police. We’ll police ourselves.

We’ll crush ourselves. Admonish ourselves. Wag fingers at ourselves. That’s how it’ll work.

 

It’s amazing that they’re taking time to crush us. That they’re putting effort into it. It’s a sign that they see us as a real threat. Isn’t that something? I like being a real threat.

A threat that they’re going to crush.

But that takes effort to crush. Planning. Forethought. It’s so flattering. It’s like we have actual efficacy, or something.

 

They can’t be explicit about what they’re doing. Not even to themselves. They can’t view themselves as oppressors. As powerful, even. As anything less than kind.

So they’re killing us out of kindness.

Of course. For our own good. They see themselves as helping Philosophy. At helping us adjust to the new world. As bringing us on board. They’re sharing something with us. Secrets. Of how the world works. Of what the world is. They think we don’t know. That we have so much to learn.

 

I want to kill myself.

You want to kill the old you. The pre-Organisational Management you. The new you is what this is about.

God!

What are you going to do – protest? Who you’re going to protest to?

The universe. I’m going to protest to the universe. I’m going to cry up to the universe. To the blank sky. For no one to hear.

God hears.

Fuck off, Io.