We thirst. We long. We question. Even I question, philosopher.
Summer questions – when the days are full of light. When it’s warm. And there are winter questions – when it’s dark and the snow’s falling …
What does our questioning allow? Where does it take us, our questioning? What does it do to the world, our questioning? Does it just leave everything as it is?
What does it change, if it changes anything? Doesn’t it just remind us of the futility; of the pitilessness of trying to change anything?
Is anything real? Is there a world at all? Is that all philosophy does: deny that the world is real? Question everything that binds us to the world?
What does it mean: to say that it’s all a dream, or whatever? It just makes us feel unconnected to things. When we should be more connected.
That this is a false world: is that all philosophy says? Maybe I don’t mind that it’s a false world. I like Mother’s world. Are you going to spoil it by saying that it’s false?
Maybe it’s better than the world out there. Calmer. Safer. More how we – I – would want it. And we want to be happy, don’t we?
We want consolations. These are my consolations. Dreams. The … fake countryside. The fake summer …
There are spiritual … dangers. I’m sure of it. No doubt this whole place is dangerous, spiritually. What is doing to us? To our souls?
What are we looking for – peace? Beyond this peace. Beyond Mother’s peace. Isn’t Mothers peace enough?
I don’t know how we survive from moment to moment. I don’t know how time … caries us forward. How one moment connects with another. How is that possible, philosopher?
What lets us live? What’s the life of life? What lives through us? What is the love that loves us?
Am I supposed to learn some great lesson from this? What am I supposed to learn?
Is all this some great experience? Something that will change me?
How is it for you, philosopher? What are you learning? What’s your lesson, philosopher?
We are not alive, philosopher, I know that.
Is Mother a false god? Who’s the true God? How should we seek the true God? Will God teach us how to seek him, the true God?
Mother’s a false god. Of course she is. But a comforting god. A god of comfort.
I need transformation. I need it, philosopher. I need to be transformed. To be lifted higher.
Do it, philosopher – help me. Say some words. Do some things. Help me as I should be helped As I need to be helped.
I want my life to be a reflection of God’s, nothing more.
Work in Progress 