Reek

This is a horrible place. Livia wanted to raise us up and then let us fail. She wanted to tease us with the idea that what we wanted was at hand, was nearly there …

She wanted us to hope, and to hope against hope. And then to destroy our hope. And then to crush us. And then to destroy our hopes. Just to see what would happen.

She was a vivisector. She was a hope destroyer. She was a monster. She was a demon. And what was supposed to happen then, when we’d reached hyper despair, or whatever?

It was like that guy in Game of Thrones. The prisoner. Allowed to fuck beautiful women before they cut off his cock. They cut it off! They unmanned him! And he becomes poor, wretched Reek.

Is that what Livia wanted for us? Only she would show that we never had cocks. That we could never fuck anyone. That that itself was a lie. She’d show us that our entire adult lives were based on a lie.

And the truth?

The truth is this blank wall. These bricks. This boarded up culvert.

So what now – do we just give up and live ordinary lives? Do we drop our scholarly dreams? And our philosophical dreams? Do we give up the pretence? That would be the real test, wouldn’t it?

But we’ll go on, that’s the thing. We’ll press on, regardless. We won’t hang ourselves, or anything. We won’t destroy ourselves.