Ahead of You

We’re ahead of you, postgraduates. In our despair. In our horror. We’ve gone further than you. We’re ahead. Will you ever catch up with us?

Not until you’ve passed through the part time trial by fire. The part time ditch! We’ve been out there, postgraduates. We’ve been out there, as you have not.

Sure, you came from there, postgraduates. You got your scholarships and escaped, from the world. But imagine you were thrown out there again. Imagine you were expelled from here and had to make your way out there again.

Out there again, postgraduates, looking for work! Scraping by! On hourly paid work! Freelancing! Precarious! Ah, what misery.


 Haunted, in our dreams. Nightmares, of being part-time again. Of knowing it again, our part-timism. Of being cast out again into the pit of part-timism. In which we barely existed! In which we were never able to come to ourselves!

Part time indetermination. When nothing was yet. Chaos. When there were fragments, that’s all.

A whirling. A whirlwind. Vortices. Where we were spinning out of control, that’s all.

We haven’t recovered yet. We’ll never feel ourselves to be secure, safe. We’ll never have believed ourselves to have Arrived. To be employed full time.

We will never believe ourselves to be secure. To be safe. It could all be taken away from us. We could be left high and dry. We could be stranded. Beached. We could be left without shelter.

We’re regular people now: can we believe that? We’re like the others. We aren’t charity cases anymore. We don’t need handouts.

We aren’t Devastated. Ruined. One day we might even clear our debts. Imagine that: clearing our debts.