This wine shouldn’t be: that’s the thing, isn’t it? That’s what we’re supposed to feel. This wine is wrong.
It’s more than that. This wine shows what’s wrong with everything. It shows that everything shouldn’t be.
Shouldn’t: according to who?
According to anything right and true. Come on! What’s real is disgusting. What’s true is disgusting. The disgusting is the real. The disgusting is the true. It’s the thing in itself, and so on.
But it’s dangerous, the great disgust. Who can bear it? Who can really undergo it?
We’re supposed to, drinking this wine.
We need disgust – that’s what Livia thought. As a catalyser. As a necessary … condition. We need to reach the great disgust and overcome it.
And how do we do that?
Furio, quoting: Are poisoned wells necessary, and stinking fires, and dirtied dreams, and maggots in the bread of life?
A reversal: that’s how we should think of it. A revaluation … Of baseness. Of all the disgusting things there are.
So we need to love the wine: is that what you’re saying?
We need to love all the disgusting things. Including ourselves! Especially ourselves!
Fuck off.
We need to reach the depths of disgust. The bottom of the abyss. And then … affirm it. Love it. Say yes to it.
I thought that was Shiva’s job: to convert wine to poison. Isn’t that what’s supposed to happen in your throat?
The immanent conversion of the disgusting, X whispers. The immanent … transformation. The immanent transfiguration of all the foul things. That’s how you’d change the meaning of the world.
So we’re supposed to say yes everything? To the Organisational Management move? To the Organisational Management campus.
We have to be able to bear the thought of drinking this wine not just now, but over and again. We have to perpetually ruminate on this wine. As though we were endlessly regurgitating it …
Double disgusting! Impossible.
This wine is a gnosis – a knowledge. Of what’s real. Of what’s true.
But this world isn’t real. It isn’t true. There has to be something else – breaking in. Something from without.
Like what – God? The messiah?
The void … Didn’t Livia talk of that?
The void – what void?
Just some contentless … transcendence. That’s what we’re tasting. And sure, it tastes disgusting. But it’s something to break up the world … To show that it isn’t … complete. It’s about polarities again. It’s about knowing the world as a forcefield. It’s about maintaining a tension.
All we can do is live against it all. Which means live in our knowledge. Our idiot’s knowledge that everything’s wrong and that we can never be in the right …
Work in Progress 