We wanted to be defeated by higher things. We wanted to run up against a taller wall. We wanted to be smashed up by something noble. Obviously greater than us. Something worthwhile.
We wanted to shrink ourselves up looking upwards – terribly high. We wanted to diminish ourselves. We wanted life in diminuendo. We wanted to be crushed by something so vast that it wouldn’t even notice.
To be crushed by vast things. To be destroyed by great, good forces. For our deaths to be necessary. Incidental. Unimportant. To be extinguished – because it had to happen. For the greater good.
That’s what we wanted – to die for the greater good. But to die unobtrusively. Almost unnoticed. Not a martyr’s death, or anything like that. We want to be destroyed by something True. And Clever.
Death – that’s what we want. A death blow. A sublime blow, as from the sky. As from the stars. A glorious extinction. Glorious because it’s complete – it’s absolute. A nothing-left-over smashdown. Like at Sodom. And Gomorrah! Biblical style.
Work in Progress 