Author: Lars Iyer

It actually has stuff in it, Io says. Floating.

Natural sediments, Furio says.

I think they’re flies, Driss says. Satan’s, like, Lord of Flies right?

Very relevant, Io says. This is definitely a Satanic campus.

Livia was a connoisseur! Sophia says.

But she didn’t want us to become connoisseurs, Furio says. We should never feel at home with wine, she said. There should be something of the street–drinker about us. Of the down-and-out, necking white cider. And so there is …

Philosophy: the word sounds like a dream – wistful and gentle and tender, Priya says. Like one of those Japanese flowers that opens in boiling water. Like a lotus flower, blossoming.

You’re actually just on the threshold of philosophy, I say. Once you get into philosophy, it’s a whole lot more rigorous.

Rigorous? I don’t like the sound of that, Priya says.

Philosophy’s mostly badass logic and that sort of thing, I say. Critique. And analysis. The construction of sound arguments, and the testing of arguments …

How disappointing, Priya says. How academic … I think I’ll stay on the threshold. I like the threshold.

We don’t just want yes people in O.M. We need people from outside. Sparring partners. People who will … answer back.

Sure – the whole fake inclusion thing, I say. The great lassoing of dissenters.

Is that what you are: dissenters? Uma asks. Do you feel lassoed?

You want us round the campfire too, I say. Where you can see us. Where you can keep an eye on us.

You actually think you’re dangerous, Uma says. Do you seriously think you’re a challenge for Organisational Management? You think you’re unmanageable. But everyone’s manageable once you find the levers.

You don’t believe that!, I say. You’re not some Organisational Management robot!

We haven’t understood your incentive structures, Uma says. Your drivers. But we’re investigating … We haven’t worked you out yet … but we will …

We’re all about interdisciplinarity. And reducing Organisational Management groupthink. We want … cognitive, not just demographic diversity. We want to question everything … our basic methodologies …

Do you, though? I ask. Do you really?

We’ve taken you in in good faith, Uma says.

What if we just objected to it all – to Organisational Management as such? I ask.

That’s allowed, Uma says.

Why – why is it allowed? I ask.

Because it’s provocative, and sometimes we need provocation, Uma says. Organisational Management needs a kick up the rear: that’s what Alan says. Everything’s up for questioning. Everything except everything, I say.

This is the new Organisational Management, Uma says. We’re totally against the old mechanistic paradigm. We’re forward-looking. We’re all about organisational variety – pluralism. The margins, not the centre: that’s what’s important. Organisational variety. Pluralism. Opening up the managerial imaginarium in general. Alan’s always talking about the managerial imaginarium ...

Inspiring, I say.

What does it do to the world, your Gnosticism? Uma asks. What does it change, if it changes anything?

It changes us, I say. It changes our attitude to everything.

It leaves everything exactly as it is, Paula says.

Everything except us – and that’s what matters, I say

What if you’re what’s wrong with everything – you philosophers? Uma asks. What if you’re a blot on the world, you philosophical types? Questioning stuff and so on.

We’re not part of the world, I say. Which means we can see it for what it is.

Organisational Management has run out of meaning, that’s all, I say. Happens to every subject area, eventually. You just come face to face with the void. Organisational Management nihilism: that’s the problem. Organisational Management acadie. When there’s nothing to do but lie back and stare at the sky.

There’s plenty of O.M. meaning, believe me, Uma says. We’re expanding.

Sure you’re expanding, I say. But expanding into what? Into nothingness. Into the void. And all the while realising that O.M. is only nothingness and the void. You can’t avoid it any longer … Nihilism has caught up with you.

And you sound terribly pleased about that, Uma says.

Maybe it’s about living against the world, I say. Living against it whilst living in it.

Sounds tiring, Paula says.

Gnosticism, it’s called, I say. Accepting it’s all … meaningless but making meaning out of that meaninglessness.

That’s a very clever conjuring trick, Uma says. Making something from nothing.

Even if you think the world’s inherently meaningless, you still have to live in it, I say. That’s the point. Even if you’re living against it.

How can you live against the world? Uma asks. You’re in it.

In it, but not of it – and that’s the point, I say. That’s meaning.

If you’re so Gnostic, and you’re living so utterly against the world, then you’ll  have to make something from your move to Organisational Management, Uma says. See it as an opportunity.

Do you know what you’ve done by bringing Philosophy into Organisational Management? I ask. It’s like when you allow vampires to cross the threshold.

Do you think we’re afraid of you? Uma asks. What can you do?

Pump you full of nihilism, I say. It’s in our bite … Our nihilism bite.