We’re surplus! Useless! We know this! We know our kind! We know our faults! We know what we are! We know we have no place in the new world, the coming world! We know we lag behind! We know we’re tardy! Latecomers! Stick in the muds! We know we should be put down for our own good.
Philosophy is the queen of useless subjects! Philosophy is uselessness itself! Both useless and pointless! Philosophy’s for nothing! About nothing! Well, nothing important. Nothing relevant …
We’re collateral damage. Necessary, no doubt. Something of the old must be destroyed for the new to appear. Something of the old must be nourishment for the new. It’s only right.
We volunteer! Put our hands into the air! We’re not ready for this brave new world! We’re quite happy to give up our place in the techno-utopia! We know our kind are defunct, our of time. We’re happy to go down. We’re happy for the future army to crunch down on our bones. Happy to be buried in an ecocoffin. To rot back into the soil. To feed the earth …
The Organisational Management newsletter. The many achievements of our Organisational Management staff! The grants they’ve won, our Organisational Management colleagues. The grants to seek grants they’ve secured, our Organisational Management colleagues. The seedcorn money they’ve drawn down, our Organisational Management colleagues. The impact case studies with which they’re busy, our Organisational Management colleagues.
News of upcoming Organisational Management conferences! Of Organisational Management funding opportunities! Of Organisational Management journals, soliciting for articles. Of the new Organisational Management book series.
News from the Organisational Management field. Recent appointments. Promotions. Hires. Photos of Organisational Managers from all over the world. Chinese Organisational Managers! Peruvian Organisational Managers! Photos from an Organisational Management expedition to Antarctica! Photos from Organisational Managers canoeing their way through the Grand Canyon. Photos of Organisational Managers with hitherto uncontacted Amazonian tribes.
And there are even Organisational Management poems! Organisational Management creative writing! Organisational Management life-writing!
Should we ask whether there should be a philosophy section in the Organisational Management newsletter? Is that’s what missing: a section for philosophical achievements! For philosophical grants won! For philosophical impact case studies! It’d be a short section …
The Organisational Management newsletter. A way into the Organisational Management universe. Who knew that it was so broad, so deep! That there was so much of it!
We’re lucky to be part of it! To be included! To be enfolded in the arms of the Organisational Management family! We’re learning things! How a really twenty-first century subject area works! How it really runs itself! It’s professionalism. How seriously it takes itself. You can see why Organisational Management is taking over the world.
And it’s not just full of explicitly Organisational Management stuff. It’s not concerned solely with matters commercial. There’s Organisational Management creative writing, for one thing. Poems about the Lake District, by one very sensitive organisational manager. A prose piece about a Yorkshire girlhood, by another. There are Organisational Management prayers. There’s a photo of one particularly enterprising organisational manager with the Dalai Lama. There’s Organisational Management art.
This is a multifaceted academic discipline: that’s what the Organisational Management newsletter shows. It's a way of life! Even a philosophy! The Organisational Management universe really hangs together. The part in the whole, and the whole in the part. There’s a way of being an organisational manager, that’s clear.
There’s even Organisational Management lonely hearts.
Organisational Management meetings Superefficient. Super organised. Over and done with in forty-five minutes. You get whiplash, pretty much.
Why should we be surprised? After all, business is Organisational Management’s business. They’re experts on business. They know what they’re doing. It’s business as it should be, in Organisational Management. Business as usual, with no monkey business. No pauses. No lulls. No reeling at the latest university nihilism. At the latest stupidity from on high.
It’s all good attitude. Without laments. Without wailings. No bonding over horror at crazy central admin decisions. They almost surf on waves of admin, Organisational Managers. They almost pride themselves on the vastly complex matters they can deal with. That they can see off. They’re like matadors of business. It’s even done with a flurry. It’s done with panache. Organisational Managers all but cry ole!
They’re showing off in front of one another. No, that’s ungenerous: they’re showcasing their skills, their virtuosity. Sharing them. Revelling together im what they can do.
Because this is who they are! This is what they’re made for. Organisational Management at its best, doing what it does best! Rushing through the agenda. Item after item. Swiftly! With certainty! With eagle-eyes! They’ve read the documents. Nothing escapes them. They’ve prepared in advance. It’s a matter of pride.
They don’t stumble. They soar. This is their sky. This is their soaring. Wings outstretched. What a marvel. The beauty of Organisational Managers in full flight.
It’s sublime, in its way. There’s a beauty to it. Some nature programme should be filming this. David Attenborough should provide a voiceover. This is the magnificence to Organisational Management. This is what it does, Organisational Management. This is what it’s for, Organisational Management.
Look how they work together, the Organisational Managers. As a team! As a pack! Look at how they coordinate. True teamwork! It’s seamless. Everyone knows their cue. Everyone knows when to speak and to be silent.
The art of the meeting. No: it should be the science of the meeting. The technology of the meeting. Like a stealth fighter in full flight. Like a guided jet, staying under radar, tracking the contours. Like some low-orbit direct energy weapon, zapping down from the clouds.
It’s part of the clear and hold op. That’s what they’re up to. Wiping out little pockets of resistance in the uni.
Look, these guys are in charge of the entire planet. There’s no external enemy. So they’re just going through their occupied territory, trying to enforce ideological uniformity.
They’re pushing something obviously absurd, as a warning. That they’ve left common sense behind. That there is a new common sense. A new reality! And they’ll push this brazenly just because they can. They want to show they can bend and break reality. According to their will. They want to show that reality is their playground. That reality is what they say it is.
They’re sending out their message. It doesn’t matter whether what they’re making us do is senseless. There’s no point in drawing attention to their inconsistencies. No appeal to the court of reason. They decide what reason is. It’s their call. Their thing. They can do what they like. They can override the senate. Every governing body.
At what level was this decided? At the level of the gods. At the level of the deity. At the level of the godhead!
The sublimity of what they can do. It’s like Zeus or something. Like Indra sending down a thunderbolt. Zapping us from heaven.
Organisational Management owns reality. They are the truth. They are the science. They’re always ahead of us. Always above us. They know better than we do!
They need us – they need the peasantry to boss about. And we need them. To be minded. We need good shepherds. We need to be saved from ourselves! From bad influences!
Which is why we should hand over power to them – all political power, all societal power, all economic power. So they can save us from ourselves. From our worst tendencies.
They have the regulatory authority. And the moral authority – the moral high ground. They have nothing but love in their hearts. They’re doing it all for us. Which means against us, the deplorables. In spite of us, the worst part of humankind!
Organisational Management, meaning nothing, meaning everything! Meaning something civilizational! Encompassing!
Organisational Management – the essential direction of our age!
Organisational Management is pure yang, and we’re its yin, the tin eye of black in a sea of whiteness. We’re its negatives. We’re its tiny shadow. We’re the drop of ink.
We’re yesterday’s people. We’re being phased out, essentially. We’re no longer part of the cultural conversation. Which because there is no longer a culture, nor a civilization.
Why are we so obstinate? Why don’t we just accept it, the new truth, the new world? Wouldn’t it be easier?
Philosophy has its role, its place within the Organisational Management extended universe. Philosophy has to accept the reality of Organisational Management, and of being part of Organisational Management – the Organisational Management family.
Philosophy doesn’t have to be afraid of being applied! About becoming Organisational Management ethics. It can help articulate the Organisational Management ethic. It can be part of the Organisational Management conversation. The future of Organisational Management is still open! Up for grabs!
Organisational Management embraces philosophy! It welcomes philosophy! That’s what Tyrell’s speech said. They need some ethical guidance. They need help with the ethical dilemmas that arise in Organisational Management. We can do something useful! Something applied!
We no longer need to feel pained by our irrelevance. By the futility of all philosophical endeavour in the face of the new reality. We can even shape the new reality, the new normal. It’s up for grabs.
Organisational Management is leftbrainism. That needs to be supplemented by a rightbrainism.
You could even say Organisational Management needs a religious supplement. A theological one!
We love Organisational Management: that’s what we’ll say in the end.
I reject Organisational Management – the whole of Organisational Management. Which means rejecting the whole world at this point. Which means rejecting every fucking thing.
We need to be vomited out of Organisational Management! Spat out! We need to become indigestible.
We see the evil behind Organisational Management. What comes through them, whether they know it or not. We know the true dimensions of evil. Of their evil.
We see what they enact. Of what they’re in service of. We know their masters and commanders. We know the agenda they service. We see their wings. We see the Nephilim and the fallen angels.
The organisational managers don’t understand the larger dimension – the technocratic dimension. They don’t see it as a war. They don’t think of themselves as Enemies of what is right and good. And perhaps that’s part of the problem. They’re innocents. They think they’re working for the good
The move to Organisational Management must be understood in its chiliastic dimension. In its eschatological dimension. As what is happening everywhere, but in miniature. As obeying the logic of the Last Days. This is why it has to be fought. Why we have to resist. The fate of the world depends on it.
It all makes perfect sense, the Organisational Management move. You just have to understand the context.
I don’t want to understand their context. It might destroy my mind. Quite literally.
I can’t think like them. That’s what they want: for us to think like them.
We already do! That’s the problem! I’m sick of their logic! I’m choked with their logic! The Organisational Management logic is, like, the logic of the world.
We have to understand their logic more deeply than they do. We have to be able to use their logic against them. That’s what Cicero would do.
Tyrell said they were going to learn from us, the philosophers. Learn! Imagine! He wants to learn! We’re to teach him – them! Collaborate with the enemy! It’s like Vichy France all over again!
Do you think we have a sense of proportion?
Fuck proportion. Proportion’s what’s got us here. They’re so hyperbolically positive, we have to be hyperbolically negative. It’s a way of surviving. It’s a yin yang thing. We’re working for the harmony of the universe. We’re doing our bit for cosmic balance. There are a lot of them, and they’re very positive. There are only a few of us, so we have to be ultra-negative, right?
They don’t understand us and they don’t understand that they don’t understand us. And they can’t understand. Which means they have no sense of what they’re doing to us psychologically. The way they’re destroying us. How they’re tearing us apart.
I see it as a deliberate experiment. They’re seeing whether they can change us. From within. Cell by cell. They’re going to make us into good Organisational Managers. They’re going to show they can manage the unmanageable. The question is, who put them up to it?
Who did put them up to it?
This is part of something larger. Something global. Something civilizational. What’s happening here is happening everywhere. Which is why if we defeat it here, maybe – just maybe – we’ll defeat it everywhere.
Is that how it works?
We’ll learn what we learn and it can be applied elsewhere. We’re in enemy territory but that’s how we can learn all about the enemy. We have to use all our philosophical acumen to critique this. And twist free of this. And do more than that: destroy it.
It’s about unifying people! Behind a common goal! It’s about effective leadership! It’s abut clearly defined management roles! Clarity about authority figures! About effective delegation! Defined job roles!
It’s about motivating employees! Rewarding success! About the fostering of collaboration within teams! Demonstrating appreciation for work! Valuing colleague’s contributions and opinions. Providing prompt and useful feedback!
It’s about hiring candidates with the right outlook! Recruiting applicants whose personalities match the culture of the organisation! An organisation is successful when its employees are happy and productive: the first rule of Organisational Management!
It’s about prioritising business objectives! About the creation of business plans! About the optimal use of resources, whether physical, human or financial! About creating clear steps for projects! It’s about the use of resources efficiently: labour! Money! Space! About the preventing resource-waste!
It's about problem solving! Process improvement measures! It’s about achieving better production results! About combining maximum output with minimum output! About time management. Limiting distractions! Providing clear instructions and expectations regarding tasks! Creating actionable plans to achieve those tasks! It’s about SMART goals! Specific! Measurable! Actionable! Realistic! Time-related!
In Organisational Management, no one can hear you scream.
They all think you’re a synth.
What’s one of those?
Like, an android – a biogenetic android.
But I’m not a robot, am I? I’m not full of circuits and wiring, or whatever.
Synth is short for synthetic biology. A synth is made out of biological tissue, which means no circuits or wiring – they’re entirely organic. The crucial difference is that they’re lab-grown, like, not born.
Like in Blade Runner?
Exactly. Like the replicants – they’re synthetic life forms, designed by genetic engineers. Barely distinguishable from humans, except that they have no emotions.
I have emotions.
You think you have emotions. Maybe they’re simulated emotions.
Maybe your emotions are simulated – did you ever consider that?
The more advanced replicants had implanted memories. To make them think they were human.
So are my memories implanted?
I don’t know. Do they feel like they are?
My memories feel just like memories … Anyway, weren’t the replicants evil, or something? I remember Harrison Ford trying to shoot them.
Sure – he was a blade runner: a killer of replicants.
Why did they have to kill them?
Because it turned out that the most advanced replicants developed emotions after a certain amount of time. The ability to question. To philosophise, even. Which meant they couldn’t be controlled anymore. They couldn’t just be employed for slave labour or as prostitutes. And because some of them were super-intelligent and super-strong and super-dangerous, the authorities were afraid of them.
Harrison Ford fell in love with one of them – I remember that.
With Rachael. Spelt -ael, not -el. She was a more advanced model than the others. Turns out she could get pregnant, too. She had a child. That’s what the Bladerunner sequel is about. Have you seen that?
No.
Spoiler alert: she has a child.
A synth child?
A half synth child.
There was that test, right … to see whether the replicants were human or not?
Sure. They’d ask someone under suspicion a bunch of questions that are supposed to provoke an emotional response. And then they’d monitor involuntary muscle contractions to see whether they had a genuine emotional response, like muscle movements in the subject’s eye.
Yeah, but what were the questions. I dunno. Like, you realise there’s a wasp crawling on your arm. You: a) swat, b) squash, c) savour, d) trap. What’s the answer?
Well, I guess it wouldn’t be savour, would it? Give me another one.
Okay. Now and then you contemplate life alone. It is… a) Independent, b) Inconceivable, c) Insulting, d) Intriguing. Which one?
Intriguing: that’s what I’m not supposed to say. Actually, life alone would be very tedious.
You see a friend who has suffered bereavement. Afterwards you feel … a) Annoyed at their lack of engagement, b) Powerless to help, c) Saddened or d) Bored.
D) Bored … ever so bored. Infinitely bored. I’m bored of bereavement and bored by you …
Work in Progress 