I’ve done my suicide awareness training, you know. I know the signs. I know what I am and what I’m not supposed to say to you.
What are you not supposed to say?
Are you thinking of doing something silly: I’m not supposed to say that.
Something silly … that’s killing yourself, right? I don’t think of it as silly.
Exactly! It trivialises it.
Memoir: I was an Analytic Philosophy robot. Like that memoir by that Kraftwerk guy in cycling shorts.
Analytic philosophy is a oxymoron, really.
Analytic philosophy – preparing for Organisational Management overlords.
What’s your favourite question, philosopher? And don’t say the question of the everything or anything like that.
The question of the everything.
What if your philosophical bubble popped? What if it was no more: philosophy. And you were in the world without it. What would happen then?
Are there philosophy rankings, like in tennis? Who’s number one seed?
Win me. Win my heart, philosopher, Uma says. I want to feel like the most important girl in the world. Make it all about me. That no one matters to you but me. Come on, complement me on my outfit. On what I’m wearing. On my earrings, for fuck’s sake. I’m wearing pearl earrings …
Let’s elope, philosopher. Let’s show them what interdisciplinarity means. Let’s bring the disciplines together. Actually, I think I’m already becoming more philosophical. How about you: are you becoming more organisational?
I think you’re the least organisational organisational manager who’s ever lived, I say. And the least managerial.
Does that make me a philosopher? Priya asks. Philosophical, maybe.
I think I’ve forgotten how to read. I can’t read anymore. Is there such a thing as reader’s block? God, all these books … I don’t think I want anything to do with books anymore …
That you think I’m just some Organisational Management honey-trap who’s supposed to sell you on moving here. But I’d like to be one of the cool humanities kids, too, you know.
Do you want to defect to the humanities?
Maybe. Do you think I could? I actually studied a bit of French literature, once. And classical Indian dance. Does that qualify me? And I’ve read a lot of Amar Kitha Katha comics. Did you?
Sure I did.
Don’t you believe there are global problems?
I don’t believe you can manage your way out of them.
You can’t be cynical about everything.
Cynicism was a school of philosophy – did you know that? The original speakers of truth to power … That was a long time ago.
No one wants to listen to you anymore, right? But we do. Really, we do … Organisational Management could do with a few Cynics.
I mean why should the moving of Philosophy into Organisational Management be, like, the end of the entire universe? We’re a broad church.
It’s a hostile takeover of Philosophy, and that’s that.
Maybe you’ll turn Organisational Management philosophical.
Maybe.
Why can’t Organisational Management become question-worthy, or whatever?
Because it would destroy Organisational Management. The question of Organisational Management would swallow it whole …
Maybe our campus is too big … Maybe we’ve become too powerful … And we don’t ask about fundamental things.
Make me serious, philosopher … Talk to me about serious things. Turn my attention to what’s actually worthwhile. What matters most to you, philosopher? What matters most in general?
What do philosophers talk about, when they’re together? This kind of thing?
Are all philosophers like you?
Are all organisational managers like you?
Walk and talk just like this. Don’t you think this is the best kind of talk there is? When you don’t know who I am, and I don’t know who you are. It’s, like, suspension. It’s hovering. Before anything begins.
Work in Progress 