I’m on the yellow brick road out of Gnosticism. With Susan Taubes as my spiritual animal.
Do you think you might be a genius, Gazelle? Is it Gazelle among the midwits? A 130 IQ, among the 110s?
You’ve got too much hope, Gazelle. I’m sure that’s what Livia knew about you. That you’d fight your way to the end of the night and go beyond. That’s why she split up with you – you were the one who were going to get away.
She split up with me, remember.
Because she knew what was coming.
I wasn’t stupid enough, in her eyes. I couldn’t be patronised in the same way as you guys. I didn’t feel quite as inadequate. And I wasn’t the kind of person she wanted to cultivate. That was you, Shiva.
The jaws of the world will close over me – that’s what Livia said. But they won’t close over you, Shiva.
You just want everyone to give up and just sit there in their idiocy, waiting for lightning to strike, or whatever.
Your literariness. Your Hinduness. Your intelligence-in-stupidity. Isn’t that what she called it? Your pathos. Your depth of feeling. Your natural horror. The way you couldn’t bear your creaturely condition. I found my way out of Gnosticism by reading Susan Taubes. But you – you’re still in it.
You can’t just fantasise your way out of Gnosticism. Fantasy doesn’t defeat Gnosticism.
I wasn’t stupid enough, in her eyes. I couldn’t be patronised in the same way as you guys. I didn’t feel quite as inadequate. And I wasn’t the kind of person she wanted to cultivate. That was you, Shiva.
The jaws of the world will close over me – that’s what Livia said. But they won’t close over you, Shiva.
You just want everyone to give up and just sit there in their idiocy, waiting for lightning to strike, or whatever.
Your literariness. Your Hinduness. Your intelligence-in-stupidity. Isn’t that what she called it? Your pathos. Your depth of feeling. Your natural horror. The way you couldn’t bear your creaturely condition. I found my way out of Gnosticism by reading Susan Taubes. But you – you’re still in it.
You can’t just fantasise your way out of Gnosticism. Fantasy doesn’t defeat Gnosticism.
I wasn’t stupid enough, in her eyes. I couldn’t be patronised in the same way as you guys. I didn’t feel quite as inadequate. And I wasn’t the kind of person she wanted to cultivate. That was you, Shiva.
The jaws of the world will close over me – that’s what Livia said. But they won’t close over you, Shiva.
You just want everyone to give up and just sit there in their idiocy, waiting for lightning to strike, or whatever.
Your literariness. Your Hinduness. Your intelligence-in-stupidity. Isn’t that what she called it? Your pathos. Your depth of feeling. Your natural horror. The way you couldn’t bear your creaturely condition. I found my way out of Gnosticism by reading Susan Taubes. But you – you’re still in it.
You can’t just fantasise your way out of Gnosticism. Fantasy doesn’t defeat Gnosticism.
I wasn’t stupid enough, in her eyes. I couldn’t be patronised in the same way as you guys. I didn’t feel quite as inadequate. And I wasn’t the kind of person she wanted to cultivate. That was you, Shiva.
The jaws of the world will close over me – that’s what Livia said. But they won’t close over you, Shiva.
You just want everyone to give up and just sit there in their idiocy, waiting for lightning to strike, or whatever.
Your literariness. Your Hinduness. Your intelligence-in-stupidity. Isn’t that what she called it? Your pathos. Your depth of feeling. Your natural horror. The way you couldn’t bear your creaturely condition. I found my way out of Gnosticism by reading Susan Taubes. But you – you’re still in it.
You can’t just fantasise your way out of Gnosticism. Fantasy doesn’t defeat Gnosticism.
You were never part time enough. Your part-timeness never drove you crazy enough. You weren’t sick with precarity.
These times belong to the eschatologically mad. To the sent-mad.
You have to be destroyed. Broken in two.
Work in Progress 